When You Broke Me…

Memories?

I have few…

Though, I like it that way, for it is better not to think or feel.

And I most definitely do not imagine.

I do not believe that it was planned and please, say, it was never intended.

It was a mixed up, twisted round, wrongly fused connection.

Which burned out.

I knew it wouldn’t last, I remember the doubts, they were there all along.

I ignored them and buried them and hoped, I so badly hoped that our wires would tangle and knot and become one that would withstand heat.

Though, it was never to be.

You loved me, I am sure of that, but you couldn’t stay to see the damage—you thought only of you.

You never witnessed the tears so damned hot they scalded and left scars down my cheeks.

I remember the noise, the deafening sound your absence left behind.

The chaos, the betrayal, the cuts and the scrapes and the sweet, oh so very sweet taste of days gone by.

You rejected me, and so, I rejected myself.

You were an obsession that filled voids.

Spaces created from your absence, pieces of us broken, chewed up, scattered, discarded for all to see.

I frantically grasped at shards, bleeding and in pain, though I held on. I knew that when I let you go I would sink into myself.

And, so, I remained, submerged.

Until I could not breathe.

Until… I cracked open, the pain of the light scorch my bruised and broken soul.

I stitched, though the loose thread faltered.

I erupted and I exploded and the erosion left me weakened and raw.

So, I lay still beneath the sun.

The wind came and storms passed, I weathered all that they gave.

I remained and I lay, I was empty.

And it was then that I opened my eyes.

I found…

You had ruined us but you had not ruined me.

I was glistening, glittering and glowing.

My insides burnt and fractured from the impact of you crushing and the intensity of the pressure, had crystalized.

You took away love.

But what you will never know is:

You left behind a diamond.

13 thoughts on “When You Broke Me…

      • Read he article about narcissist parents. Describes my marriage and his relationship with two of my four.

        Lots to consider. Thank you for such concise writing. It helps me process and think about my future and theirs….. And share our situation in a way that is impersonal and yet so accurate.

        Like

  1. You’ve touched the inner most part of my soul leaving it ravaged, fed, and inspired. thank you. I too practice reiki, and write, and have thoroughly enjoyed your poetry. Keep sharing bits of your soul, it becomes you

    Like

  2. Found you on Elephant Journal. You. Are. Amazing. A truly gifted writer. My heart is so touched, not only by your poetry, but your articles. Thank you!

    Like

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